I'm Sorry, I was a dickweed....

Why can't men just say it?

Published on October 29, 2004 By grins wickedly In Personal Relationships

I just don't understand the whole "male superiority" thing. Why do guys feel the need to hold out on apologizing to their or any other woman?? Is it some kind of thing that if they say it, they think that women will think of them as inferior?? Why do guys think women are the one's who should be responsible for doing dishes, sweeping, mopping, and cleaning??

I was at work last night and I was closing with Bobby and Josh. Josh is a good guy. Everyone likes him and he does his work without talking too much. But Bobby has a tendency to not want to do anything until he's told.

We were extremely busy last night, I was scheduled to work on drive-thru (I work at Burger King) and I was doing it all by myself. I had four cars waiting for their food and like 6 cars waiting for their orders. I went in back and told Bobby that he needed to come up front and do his part of drive-thru. He says "I'll be right there." A few minutes later I'm still buried in cars and food and he still isn't there. Robert, the manager, says, "Bob, You need to come up here now." He comes up and he's freaking out because there's "so many orders." I'm like, "Yeah, if you woulda come up here when you said you would there wouldn't be so many."

Later, we were doing our closing stuff and I was finishing one of his jobs when I noticed that the floor behind the front counter wasn't mopped yet. Bobby had done the mopping so I said "Hey Bobby! You didn't mop behind the front counter." He yelled back for me to do it. I went in back to get the mop and he's changing into his non-work clothes. "Why couldn't you do it?" He said it was because he did everything else and that I needed to do some work.

OKAY, I swept the whole building, dried the trays, wiped off the counters, cleaned the shake machine, cleaned the pop machines, washed the shake machine, cleaned the bathrooms, and cleaned the tables and benches in lobby. He did nothing but dishes all night and he wouldn't have done that if he wasn't threatened with a write-up.

Why are guys like this? I am a pretty proud woman, and if I know that a guy would use my apology or tears against me and feel extremely macho I will NOT apologize to them or show any sign of tears.

Take for example one night about three weeks ago. Robert was being a dick, we were extremely busy and I was stressed from school and my parents and work. I wasn't feeling good either. Robert was feeling especially macho and toughguy that night and was being a jerkwad to me. (He hates me since I used to like him, but don't anymore.) I asked if I could go on break since we weren't busy anymore and I hadn't been able to get any food all day and was starving. He says "no bobby gets to go first." Bobby had come half an hour after me so I was supposed to be able to go first. I told Robert this and he said "I don't care. Bobby's going first. Maybe I'll make you go last." Later I was doing something and he started yelling at me for something that didn't even involve me. I felt tears coming and had to blink them back in order to not let him win. I will not be a victim of a man's machoness. I decided that with my last boyfriend, who WAS a dickweed. He didn't respect me in any way. I was something for him to use.

Guys, PLEASE, don't be like this. Women usually like sensitive men. The kind who apologize when they are wrong.

Sorry for going on and on and on and on.....

*grins wickedly*

Comments

d3adz0mbie

on Oct 29, 2004

This article is a joke, right?
First, you show ZERO respect for your co-workers, regardless of them being men. You want a "more sensitive man", yet you refer to other people as "dickweed", "jerkwad" or "dick". Do you really think that kind of attitude will encourage 'sensitive men' to associate with you? Not likely.
You go on to show that your very self-centered, disregarding others stress. You talk about your own needs like you are the center of the universe, about how you have eaten, about how you've had a bad day... did you stop to think for a second that other people might be having a bad day? That other people have their own outside lives that might be as involved and as complex as your own? Maybe your buddy Robert has had a long day himself, dealing with things outside of centering on YOU.

Sorry if I sound harsh here, but you're blaming men for things that have nothing to do with gender. Men and women are different; men have a tendancy to express stress through anger and agression. It's built into our genetic code as much as motherhood is built into a womans. Yet that doesn't make all men insensitive or superior, it just shows you that you, as a woman, understand men about as much as men understand what child birth is like. Men and women alike have problems being stubborn and not apologizing, and you throwing this "macho" thing out to the public only contributes to denegrating male stereotypes. These guys might indeed be jerks, but stop blaming it on them being guys.

philomedy

on Oct 29, 2004

As a man, let me just say that men are idiots. That's just fact. It takes us just less than eternity to grow up, and just a little longer to realize that maybe what women want is what they say they want as opposed to what we tell them to want. Although there are a few enlightened ones, the vast majority continue to be immature and childish.

On a different note, let me just say that I applaud your use of the word dickwad, and think that it should get higher circulation within the English language, along with "wanker."

And just a quick note about men being genetically inclined to express anger toward anger and agression. While we more inclined, and so start a majority of the horrible conflicts that threaten to explode the planet, genetic inclination is by no means a fatalistic command that men are slaves to. Of course we are inclined, but that does not mean we cannot act against our inclinations. I am often inclined to bite my nails, yet I manage to not do it. As a man, I am often inclined to respond angrily, but I also manage to not do it. I'm not saying it's easy, I'm just saying it's possible. It may be genetic, but like so many other genetic things, it can be controlled.

cactoblasta

on Oct 29, 2004

I don't think your workmates are dickheads because they're men. They're dickheads because they have an appendage extruding from their foreheads. Try simply refusing to do anything you're not specifically told to do by a manager when Bobby is on. Don't ever pick up the slack for him. Make a big deal of assuming his competence, and always be surprised and a little hurt when he doesn't do what he's supposed to do. Sigh if the manager asks why something wasn't done, and ask if Bobby's experiencing family troubles because "he seems distracted". Exude sympathy and compassion like it's the finest perfume and the boss will have problems blaming you.

I don't know what labour laws are like where you live, but this worked for my little sister at her job. As long as you're old/young enough to get another job, don't worry too much about being sacked because the laws are made to protect against sexual discrimination. Threaten to use them and then use them if necessary.

Manya77

on Oct 30, 2004

aye aye people....the article and the comments reflect exactly what i feel abt these men..

grins wickedly

on Nov 01, 2004

You want a "more sensitive man", yet you refer to other people as "dickweed", "jerkwad" or "dick". Do you really think that kind of attitude will encourage 'sensitive men' to associate with you? Not likely.

Okay d3adz0mbie, I called two fricking people dickweeds. That's it. You don't understand how it is where I work. Half of the people there NEVER do their work that they are assigned. I constantly have to ask if something was or needs to be done because someone else didn't do it.

buddy Robert

Robert is sooo far from being my "Buddy" that it's not even funny.

AAAAAMMMMennnn!!!!!!!!!!(AMEN!) Thank you for being a real man and admitting it!! I love you Philomedy!!!!!!!!!!!

On a different note, let me just say that I applaud your use of the word dickwad, and think that it should get higher circulation within the English language, along with "wanker."

The word is dickweed. Not dickwad. I picked up the word from my busdriver friend. Wanker is a great word too.

Don't ever pick up the slack for him.

Cactoblasta, if I do this I would end up getting fired for taking so long to close and refusing to do any work. You gotta realize that if it takes longer than half an hour to do closing stuff, the higher management begins to question the ability of the people working close. If I don't "pick up the slack" the other people will complain and I lose hours. I've lost enough hours in the last 8 months. I can't afford to lose hours.

thanks,
*grins wickedly*

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